So there I was, lost in the traveler’s self-loathing reverie last Sunday, sitting at the airport in Nashville and cursing the fact that I had to pay an extra surcharge to get my heavier-than-50-pound suitcase on the plane, ignoring my coworkers and burying myself in a new issue of Vanity Fair, when I heard a shrill scream from the gate next to me. ‘Seriously,’ I thought, ‘what the hell could be that damn important?’ Granted, I used stronger expletives in my head, but you get the general idea.

The girl (woman?) doing the shreiking ran to the gate and - ‘embraced’ isn’t the right word, more like ‘mauled affectionately’ - the man disembarking the plane. Since I was in my dark cloud of a mood, I was satisfied that she was another emotional female that didn’t need to be making that sort of fuss over the arrival of a passenger. Not 15 seconds later, my metaphorical foot was in my metaphorical mouth, as the entire airport - slowly at first, but gradaully rising in intensity - applauded for the American troops returning from Iraq.

I thought this was only the sort of thing that happened in commercials. You know the ones, the spots that are shilling for Budweiser or something equally asnine, that state ‘we support the troops’ against a black screen at the end. But this was actually happening: As the men and women walked down the terminal, the entire airport stood at civilian attention and clapped. For no other reason than they wanted to express support to those who went through hell, despite the dangers and outside the realm of partisan politics. Like I said, my foot in my mouth. Without any hint of the original sarcasm or satirical intent, let me quote the song written by the South Park twins in Team America: World Police, and say ‘America. Fuck yeah.’

Once I landed in O’Hare, I got to take the above picture. The entire baggage claim area was flooded from a malfunctioning sprinkler. God bless America.

Props: Item number 46, ‘62 Reasons to Love Your Country,’ July 2005 GQ. Among such entries as ‘blue jeans. On a woman,’ ‘Starbucks coffee. Seriously.’ and ‘live-bait vending machines,’ item 46 states, without any explanation, ‘Iraq war vets, coming home.’ Amen. Thanks for the kick-in-the-pants reminder.