learning good citizenship with the energy hog
October 11th, 2005 | Published in current events, just like in civics class | 7 Comments
Little Jimmy flipped on the television last weekend to watch Saturday morning cartoons. But instead of entertainment, he found the lesson of a lifetime waiting for him.
A commercial produced by the Department of Energy presented Jimmy with the ‘Energy Hog,’ a metaphorical concept for leaving the lights on, running the air conditioner for too long or leaving hair dryers blowing to, I don’t know, keep food warm or something. The bottom line: Wasting energy is bad, Jimmy learned.
The lovable cartoon character, embodying all the bad habits of household energy consumption, was a Department of Defense creation that made an indelible impression on the young Jimmy. As he went to bed that night, he wrote a haiku for his mother - as he was torn between his desire to turn off the lights, but was nonetheless scared of the dark. He wrote:
I’m scared of the dark!
Please? Lights? Just five more minutes?
Fuck you, Dick Cheney.
‘Don’t say that, little Jimmy,’ Mommy said. ‘Just because I drive you to school in an Acura MDX doesn’t mean we should leave the lights on at night.’
Little Jimmy drifted off to sleep, his dreams peaceful and swine-free, safe in the knowledge that the Energy Hog wouldn’t be attacking him in the dark, dark night.
To recap:
- Little Jimmy is pissed that Dick Cheney is a robot.
- When your government has chosen to rip off “Captain Planet” - a third-rate cartoon - to aid conservation efforts, there’s a definite problem. The Energy Hog looks a little too much like Hoggish Greedly. See picture.
- Haiku provides a lyrical outlet for the pouring forth of emblematic truth, namely, the idea of an ‘Energy Hog’ sucks.
October 12th, 2005at 3:17 am(#)
We live for our art!
Department of Energy
Government is bored.
Dick Cheney must be delighted by the creativity of the DOE. Why it’s as if a light bulb just went on over some Grade 15’s head. Let’s use propaganda aimed at kids.
It won’t be long till the Department of Agriculture admonishes them for debasing pork…the other white meat.
Where did you get the images?
October 13th, 2005at 8:13 pm(#)
Nick stole Captain Monterey Jack from The Carol Burnett Show.
October 14th, 2005at 8:26 pm(#)
I just entered energyhog.org. Criminetly…talk about inefficient hogs…How much power do you think it requires to open those heavy metal doors? I can hear the motors whirring and gears engaging…just to show you a friggin layout of a living room. Then Inspector “Irene” comes along hovering in some heavy BTU generating device just to give you some more tidbits.
Government peepul are soo stupeed!
October 17th, 2005at 10:34 am(#)
Bill Maher was talking about this very thing on his show last week. A show that featured Ben Affleck and Salman Rushdie. And Ben talked way too much.
October 17th, 2005at 2:16 pm(#)
I would think Ben Affleck speaking at all might qualify as “too much.”
October 18th, 2005at 8:14 am(#)
And I might agree with that comment, Neil. He also gestured a lot. And there was much spit involved. Poor Salman sat through the entire show with a somewhat confused look on his face. (Thinking, I’m sure, who in the hell is this guy?)
December 14th, 2005at 10:15 am(#)
I actually met one of the girls who worked on this campaign. She was a scientist. I was going to ask her if they knowingly ripped off “Captain Planet†but then realized it might be in bad taste. After all, Captain Planet probably was her favorite childhood show and it’s not her fault our government hires marketers to do science and scientists to do marketing