There once was a man slated to pick up a rental car for a business trip. After filling out the necessary paperwork at his local Enterprise, the kindly employee gave her verdict with all the seriousness of a cancer diagnosis:

‘We’re putting you in a Nissan Altima,’ she said.

‘Does it have a CD player?’ our central character replied. God forbid there be a road trip without music.

However, upon his exit to the parking lot where his intermediate-size Altima waited, the Enterprise worker realized she needed to bring his contract. She ducked into the office, and returned bearing good news.

‘We’re not putting you in the Altima,’ she said. ‘How about that right there?’ She nodded toward an Infiniti RX45.

‘Yeah, I could do that,’ our man replied.

Satisfied that his place would be cemented in the big-boy lane on the highway, our protagonist made his way to the bank, where he attempted to deposit a check. Upon entering his PIN, however, the machine malfunctioned - forcing him to (gasp!) speak to a teller face-to-face.

After filling out the necessary deposit slips, he asked said teller for $20 against the recently deposited amount. She informed our hero that unfortunately, she cannot, as his account was overdrawn. No cash!

This plucky adventurer realized his options were slim and none, yet decided to make the best of the situation. He would take the non-toll roads out of Chicago in his silver pimp ride. He would leave his dry cleaning to be picked up next week. He would use credit cards. The trip continued in true pay-for-it-later comfort. And it was Good.

Crisis averted, he became the Cashless Man in the Luxury SUV. Look for the next installment of our series, the Broke-Ass Magazine Editor on Public Transit, next week.