One of the benefits – the *only* benefit, really – to staying home is that you feel awful. And feeling awful breeds food creativity. I know that I have one can of condensed cream-of-chicken soup in the cupboard, and I would prefer not to venture into the snowy outdoors to get more chicken soup, but I had a vision in my NyQuil-induced fog: I also have a chicken breast in the freezer. And vegetables. And noodles.

I was in business.

This may be old hat to those of you who are, say, Depression-era cooks, creating dinners out of necessity and maybe an old shoe, but for bachelors in the 21st century who enjoy cooking occasionally – but more often than not order in – this was a discovery on par with cold fusion.

Thus was born the Beatnik Industries Chicken-Noodle Soup Recipe. Gather:

• One chicken breast, frozen
• One can condensed cream-of-chicken soup
• Assorted chopped vegetables: carrots, onions, green peppers, et al.
• Noodles of some sort
• Pepper and basil

Boil the chicken for an hour or so, covered, on low heat in about six cups of water. After 30 minutes or so, add the vegetables, pepper and basil. Don’t add salt – the prepared soup will be more than enough. After an hour, pull the chicken out and rip it apart with forks for that ‘I made this on the farm without using a knife’ feeling. Add the condensed soup to the water and vegetables before adding the chicken again, as the meat makes it difficult to stir. Put the chicken back in and drop in some noodles.

Don’t add too many noodles, though, because they’ll soak up all your water. Cover and cook for another 20-30 minutes on low heat.

Eat it and marvel at how good a 19th-century nanny you would have made.