I was sent the following Japanese lyric poetry by a friend earlier today, in her effort to convince friends and coworkers to watch the big game at her comfy, green-couch-featuring apartment. However, due to the brilliance of her creation, I asked her for reprint permission. And I’m sure if you’re really that interested, you could watch the game at her place.

So today, I’m pleased to present Beth Herbert Brings Us Super Bowl Haiku:

‘Why Big Screen TVs Are Stupid’

ahhh! ahhh! ahhh! ahhh! ahhh!
why are those players gigantic?
scary big t.v.

*I realize I cheated with eight syllables in the second line, but I
think I got the point and artistic vision across.

‘Why Watching the Superbowl in the City Could Potentially Be Dangerous’

bears win but watch out
drunk fans riot in the street
garbage can on fire

‘The Superbowl is the Happiest Day of the Year, and Therefore Should Be Spent in the Happiest Place on Earth, Which You Would Think Would be Disneyworld but is Actually My Living Room’

here since eleven
want to take a nap but the
bar floor is sticky

green leather heaven
crescent hot dogs plentiful
not a stupid bar